I was sitting at work today thinking instead of working…..and I have decided I would like to do an on-line memorial of my dad.  I think that is a way for me to feel like I still have him.  I know that is stupid, but I just need to feel his presence. 

Does anyone have any suggestion or ideas on this type of thing?  We all know how hard it was for me when I started this blog.  hahahaha 

So, give me ideas, suggestions anything you may have.  I’m sure I won’t be able to get started till I get moved and settled down.  But, at least I can get ideas and know what I want to do when the time comes.

Thank you all so much!!!!

Well, it’s final…..moving day is August 13th.  We are getting the truck on the 12th in the evening and will be heading out bright and early on the 13th.  I have already started packing and will pack each night till it’s all packed and ready for the move.   I wish we could leave sooner, but it’s not going to happen.

It’s amazing to see that I have so many emotions going through me right now….happiness, excitement, frustration, sadness, loneliness.  It’s crazy because I have been so busy since I have been home I haven’t even had time to grieve that our family just lost a major person.  I just keep telling myself just keep it together till everything settles down and you and the family are safe and sound back in Alabama.

This saturday we are having a yardsell to get rid on anything that we really don’t need or anything that doesn’t have a special meaning to us.  We will be limited on room since we will be staying with  my om.  I am so excited to show my husband and kids the dream my dad had and how he made it come true.  It’s amazing to see what one man can think of, put in on paper, and then have it in front of him in just a few years.  Not to mention the country is so nice.  No cell service will crap that far out, but right by the lake.  I just hope my younger two can deal with the fact being so far away from everyone.  We’ll see how it goes.

Anyway, you all see I am going to be traveling on the 13th, 14th, and the 15th of August.  I hope it doesn’t take longer, but that will remain to be seen.  We will be going through so many states….Arizona, New Mexice, Texas, Mississippi, Louisanna, and then to Alabama.  What a trip this will be.

Keep us in your prayers that the Lord will guide us and that ALL decisions that have been made were made RIGHT!  Hugs to you all!!!!

Diane

Things are still so hard without dad, what we went through was so hard.  I wish I had time to tell y’all everything but I don’t.  It was so hard and sad, we had to make some very had decisions fast.  WOW! What a thing to have to go through!

My brother and myself sat beside our dad from the time we had him off life support till he passed away.  Watching that was the hardest thing I have ever done.  Not to mention it was so sad!  He struggled so much, I know he wasn’t in pain at that time because he was on Morphine. 

His last few breaths took me by such surprise and all I could do and all I still can do is cry!  I know he is in a beetter place, but I miss him so much.  He was my support and the person I went to for advice! This is something I don’t wish on anyone.

Anyway, more news……because of this I will be moving home to Alabama!  The southern girl is back again.  I haven’t told my work yet, because we are decideing what to do with our 2 high schoolers. Let them stay or have them go.  That is another hard decision!  I am so lost without my dad here to ask for his advice!

Anyway, thank you all for your kind words and encoragement.  Please pray that the Lord will do a miracle with the financial part of all this. 

Hugs to you all!

Diane

We have had no sleep for way too long right now.  Dad is on life support and well I can’t bring my self to say it right now.

I am heading to the airport in the AM to go on stand by to Columbus, GA and heading straight to the hospital.  Please pray for my dad that he will be ok.  We need him to be!!

I wish one of my net buddies was in that area so bad.

Please don’t tell me everything will be ok and God is in control, I don’t want to hear it right now.  I just need my friends!

Love you all so much!

For one week dad has been VERY sick, we were all very concerned about him.  My brother said he was so pale that he looked like he was going to die.  I was so scared for him.  So, last Sunday I called him and TOLD him if he didn’t go to the hospital right then I would call his local police department and have them come over and do what needs to be done.  Even tell them he is unable to make any decision right now!!

He could barly talk, that is how bad he was.  He decided he wanted to SHUT ME UP!  Fat chance there!!!   Anyway, mom took him to the hospital in the town where my brother lives…..thank heavens for that!  He walked out of the first hospital, my sister in law works there, and went to another.  That is when I called and had my sister meet them there so he couldn’t leave that one.  PARENTS!!!!!!!

He stayed, they admitted him and he was dehydrated, bacterial infection, his magnasium was very low, and his white blood count was almost nothing…………..VERY SICK!!!!

He was givin an IV, very strong anitbotics, and the took out his pic line.  HELLO….this is the second time it got infected!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He got out of the hospital last night and now is home doing much better and ready to fight the next chemo treatment!

He is all over me now to COME HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!  But, damn it………….this is just not the time for me!!!!  Anyway, he is better and he told me last night would you have really done what you said?  I said, “YES”…because I love you and I knew you weren’t ready to give up!!!!!!!! 

This was a three ring circus because I called my dad’s best friend, he called my Uncle, who called me then called two of my aunts…..Then I called my brother and my sister…..not to mention I called my dad’s pastor. They had a room full of people telling my dad that there comes a time when parents must listen to their children!! I think he had enough of it and said ok, I’ll listen for now on!!!!

Well, he is home and starting very slowing eating again! He has lost about 80 pounds with this cancer.  This past week he didn’t eat or drink for 6 days!  I so wish there was a cure for all cancers!!!!

Have a great week ladies!!

“Your actions will always show your beliefs.”

“Untill the Lord moves you, you are to bloom where you are planted.”

“God will send the rain when ready, you need to prepare your field to recieve it.”

“Before you achieve you must believe.”

“Our successes will be determined by how we function as a team.”

Dad has been back in the hospital all week, one more cancer treatment.  He is holding on, but things are so crazy.  There was one day he has NO and I mean NO memory of it! He was even found on the floor! He was crying to us about it!  I really need to go home, but now isn’t the time.  Why? 

Because….my JOB!  Let me tell you quickly!

The other lady here was the marketing manager, I am the office manager.  She got FIRED!!  By the owner. Too many reason why to name. Now I have been asked to take both rolls till we decide what to do. 

I have no idea how to do martketing…………..but, this could be such a HUGE thing for me!!  HUGE! I wrote an e-mail to the owner and told him I would love to give this a try. I also told him that I am dertimined to do a good job and that I believe in what we do.  I know there will be an increase for me somehow and also a gas allowance. 

Ladies……this could be a really BIG thing for me.  I am very nervous about it because I have no idea how to do this job, but I want to try it and give it a go!  I also asked the owner if there was a way I could either go to Utah or Texas (our other offices are there) and traing from the ladies there on how to do this job.  We’ll see what happens!  I need to go now. Y’all have a great week-end and remeber that I am thinking of you all!

Yes, all of you!!  HUGS!!

Consider this: every person you have ever met, every person you will pass in the street today, is going to die. Living long enough, each will suffer the loss of his friends and family. All are going to lose everything they love in this world. Why would one want to be anything but kind to them in the meantime?

 

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” - Seneca

I know I needed to read this today, I don’t know if anyone else can relate, but after the last 4 really, really bad days I have had, I think this sums it all up for me!!  I found this on the internet a lady wrote it and boy does it have a message!

Years ago I heard a story about “Cracked pots”. I forgot how the story went, but I still remember what the essence was. When you look at a pair of lets say, clay pots, from a long distance. They look smooth and unblemished. The closer you come, the more cracks you”ll see. Standing in front of them, you’ll notice they are full of cracks and the surface is uneven.

It is the same with people. The further they are removed from you (not by distance, but by relationship) the nicer they look. The lady at the supermarket or the man who works at the bank are very nice people, you think. And that is probably true. And you are nice back. But do you give the same courtesy to your family? Okay, of course you love them. But are you giving the same politeness to them as you would to the man at the bank? No, because you know your family well, you know all the “unevens” in their personalities. Suppose the lady at the supermarket says something unkind to you. Would you flare up and tell her so and so? Of course not. The less we know someone, the less we care! You would shrug your shoulders and think she was having a bad hair-day.

Teenagers are full of “unevens” as we all know. Most of it will be ironed out as they mature (well, let’s hope for the best) but they really know how to hurt their parents at times. These “pots” are way too close to you, the other “pot”. All the cracks are visible, because you know them well and they know you well. Suppose somebody else’s teenager was shouting at you, would you still be that hurt? No, of course not. You would shrug your shoulders. But that other, far removed teenager wouldn’t shout at you. He/she would not be able to notice your “unevens” and neither can you see theirs.And so they are polite to you.

 Author Unknown  

 

I accept myself completely. I accept my strengths and my weaknesses, my gifts and my shortcomings, my good points and my faults. I accept myself completely as a human being. I accept that I am here to learn and grow, and I accept that I am learning and growing. I accept the personality I’ve developed, and I accept my power to heal and change. I accept myself without condition or reservation. I accept that the core of my being is goodness and that my essence is love, and I accept that I sometimes forget that. I accept myself completely, and in this acceptance I find an ever-deepening inner strength. From this place of strength, I accept my life fully and I open to the lessons it offers me today. I accept that within my mind are both fear and love, and I accept my power to choose which I will experience as real. I recognize that I experience only the results of my own choices. I accept the times that I choose fear as part of my learning and healing process, and I accept that I have the potential and power in any moment to choose love instead. I accept mistakes as a part of growth, so I am always willing to forgive myself and give myself another chance. I accept that my life is the expression of my thought, and I commit myself to aligning my thoughts more and more each day with the Thought of Love. I accept that I am an expression of this Love. Love’s hands and voice and heart on earth. I accept my own life as a blessing and a gift. My heart is open to receive, and I am deeply grateful. May I always share the gifts that I receive fully, freely, and with joy.